It's coming out time!

Today was my first day back to the market... as a customer.
It took me a full two months (coward!) to make it back to the scene of the crime.
And was it fun. Great people, wonderful attitudes and I love being back. I get to snicker rather than take it all too seriously and plan on whatever is next.
And the apples were really, really good.

I'm so glad we've had this time together...

but the farmer's market era is now gone for the short term future.
It was a brillant idea and didn't pan out.
It's been brewing for a while (hence my absence) and now I'm making it official.

Here I'll say the whole piece:
I don't like being at a market that has high volume commercial baked goods next to my own. The idea for me is local, sustainable, organic. Not margarine from a production facility where everyone wears plastic.
I don't like cold wet mornings and fighting to sell each little piece of bread.
I don't like old hotel ovens that have chronically ill thermostats.
I don't like concrete floors that are so old the whole building is sinking slowly only on the wall BEHIND THE OVEN.
I love baking.
I love this little place.
I love my customers.
I love what I learned from this and the confidence I've gained.
I love my guy. I'm back in the restaurant full time to run the dining room and make his desserts so that we can make it all work.
Thanks for all the great feedback as I worked through this!

Wow. A different day

Some personal stuff shadowed the morning.
I'm kinda too scared about outcomes to talk about it.
Didn't sell it all. There was a new baker at the market that did.
Sigh. Shortening and Margarine.
But now. I'm kinda sick. Gonna go lie down.

Today:
Cinnamon Streusel Bread
Marmalade Bread
Flourless Chocolate Almond Cake (Gluten Free)
Coconut Lime Custard
Whiskey Caramel Apple Bread Pudding
Double Chocolate Hazelnut Cookies
Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookies
Currant Scones
Molasses Bars

It was SUNNY!

My goodness but I needed the sun today.
First day at the new marketplace and I prepped for lots of rain.
Got lots of sun and SOLD OUT. Woot. Can't tell you how good that feels. Being out there talking to people is one thing that makes me happy. Doing it in the sun when it isn't too hot or to cold is another happy. With my handsome? Three. When they ALL buy something!!! Definite four. Yum.

Here's the menu:

Flourless Chocolate Almond Torte (gluten free)
Spiced Pear Almond Upside Down Cake
Lemon Mascarpone Mousse
Orange Clove Bread
Butter Pecan Bread
Creme Fraiche Currant Scones
Breakfast Bars
Butterscotch Brownies
Roasted Peanut Fudge Cookies

Whaddya think?

I don't really know where to start

the last four weeks have been a huge huge blur.
The first market was pretty cool. Very local small town feel. Lots of regulars from the little place came by in support. Majorly cool.

The second was totally different. Lots of people a bit more upscale suburban feel.
However, both were quite cold. Lovely October.

The reception of my product line is better than tepid -- not redhot. Somewhere in between. A couple of products have hit a hot button. Others I'm going to have to tweak. I get the feeling that organic pastry is an education...

Some people think it's going to take like whole wheat flaxseed seven grain no sugar added bread. It's not whole grain (usually). It's not "good for you". It's just better for you that fully refined bleached sugar and finely processed cake flour.

I think I can do this. I just have to relax and breathe...

The relationship stuff that goes along with it is a different story. With all the stress it feels like I just can't say or do anything that isn't in the wrong tone or with the wrong words. Especially to handsome.
It's a royal B (or does that mean I am) that we treat those we love the most the worst at times.

I can only hope it continues to get better.

Recipes used:
Brown Sugar Zucchini Bread
Thumbprint cookies: coconut with ginger jam, pecans with blueberry jam, walnuts with fig jam.
Roasted Peanut Fudge Cookies
Brown Sugar Walnut Cookies
Double Chocolate Hazelnut with Cranberries
Cranberry Orange Bread
Maple Drop Cookies
Persimmon Cookies
Pumpkin Cookies
Applesauce Bread
Persimmon Pecan Bread
Citron Bread
Cinnamon Tangerine Bread
Almond Plum Oat Bread
Molasses Bars
Currant Scones

ohmigod

they called.
Words were something akin to
"thank you so much for bringing such delicious samples.
We really appreciate you going to all that work.
Of course, we have room for you at the market and look forward to seeing you in two weeks."
Of course! It was a shoe-in!!! I knew that!!!
Not.
Um. Okay. So I overstressed. And we start in 17 days. Not 10. :)

Wow. How'd that happen...

We went, we saw, we...

survived.
The meeting was interesting. We got there on time after every single calamity you can think of. I'm not kidding. The oven temp wouldn't regulate, a full sheet of fresh cookies fell off the prep table, one tray got put down too hard on top of another, the thrid recipe of tea cookies worked fine for me but not my asst. so we had pan of cooked dough. It was a mess. I don't even have the energy to contemplate how much it cost in dollars, let alone that energy.
But we did it.
And in the middle, handsome sez we can be ready for showtime in two weeks.
{in my head... Two weeks! Okay. Two weeks. it's 12 days to the next market. Do I get that or the 19 to the one after that. How do I take back what he just said. Is he CRAZY!!! I'm the baker and 12 days is not enough. 19 barely. okay, I'll agree to two weeks and mean two and a half. Two and a half!?!?! shta!!!!!}
But at the end, they said they'd let us know in a couple days. And look. We did it.
We got through it. Maybe they'll still like us in 6 months. Phew.
And now...

Eek! Two days!

I just got TWO DAYS NOTICE to have my stuff ready for the board.
One of those things that you know is supposed to happen, but you don't know why...
Here I am and the market chef comes in for dinner with a friend. Sits there and has a great time and after a bottle of wine says - Oh! Board meeting in two days! Can you be ready to bring samples for all?
Wow. Of course! (Shta.)
So the list:

Cinnamon Rolls with Vanilla Frosting
Petite whole Wheat Fig Nut Bread
Petite Maple Pumpkin Bread
Double Chocolate Orange Macadamia Nut Cookies
Shortbread: green tea, lemon ginger, coconut

Think it'll work?

Oh Shta

Double Shta.
Shta on a stick.
Turns out that the leave of absence of former baker is now permanent.
Wow.
Breakfast pastries full time.
Ugh.
Hmmm....
Um. Still waiting.
Can You hear it??

I don't think I can afford that many more glasses of wine.

Phew!

It's done.
I procrastinated. Ignored the blog. Ignored the paper.
And then I got a call that said "Where is it?"
So off it went in the mail. Today.
Sigh.
Now I wait


I'm not a good wait-er-er....

Sigh.
Time for some wine.

Too much to do

So I haven't gotten the paperwork done yet.
It feels a bit overwhelming. Kinda like looking at this...

So instead:
Peach tiramisu:
Layers of ladyfingers soaked in peach lambic
Topped with a mascarpone mousse with a hint of peach liqueur
In between layers of macerated local white and yellow peaches
topped with a lightly sweetened whipped cream and fresh peaches

Sound like something you might try?

It's here! It's here!

The application showed up today.
The FM people like my intentions and want me to apply!
Woot.
Now what!?!?! Breathe. Breathe. Gather paperwork. Copy. Send.
Not that hard.

This feels quite a bit better than those last few interviews...

Okay I did it -- the letter is sent

We've decided that the best way to debut the baked goods is to participate with the local farmers markets.
So after talking to the local market manager, we've decided to go for it.
I sent the letter in today.

Here are the highlights:
baked goods made with ONLY organic local and fair trade ingredients
Miniature fruit bread loaves in flavors such as banana, fig, date/walnut, lemon ginger, carrot raisin, pumpkin, etc.
Ready to eat cookies baked at market in flavors such as chocolate chip, double chocolate “craisin”, oatmeal raisin, snicker doodles, etc. (one flavor per week initially) with a tub of cookie dough available to take and bake or freeze.

products that have made a positive showing at the restaurant:
fruit sauce, a customer favorite
Organic freshly made mascarpone and creme fraiche
Take and bake desserts
Local organic chutney or marmalade – one flavor each week, such as stone fruit, apricot, tomato, Seville orange, etc. -- using fruits from market purveyors only.
Olives marinated and spiced in-house.

Whaddaya all think?

It's semi official

I now have a website for the bakery.
But if I told ya...

Phew. Nerves blinking like butterflies.

This is the right thing, yes?

Next step

I'm going to do it.
I've talked it over with Handsome and decided to take my wares into the retail market. Why not?
There isn't really a baker that does organic in this part of the county. Why not?
I could start local. Why not?
It could be independent income. Why not?
It could be fun. Why not?
The plan is starting. Let's see how it goes...

Okay, so it's taken me a bit to get back here

And yes, it had to do with the stage.
The chef was wonderful, the kitchen a great place to be and...


it lasted less than an hour.
I got a sitdown convo in the dining room about why the hell was I doing a stage as a pastry cook assistant.
She asked me to come back when I knew what I was doing but that I "should be in my own kitchen, not working for someone else"
We talked about maybe a hotel job... and then I left.

I treated myself to breakfast at Boulette's with Blue Bottle coffee, sweets and misery. Went to the farmers market. And then sulked for a few days.
Then, I applied to a hotel chain. Got an interview. And realized that that wasn't it either. Some complications about travel, commute, relationship and it just wasn't even worth hearing their offer. I dreamed about what that future might be and then let it go.

I'm going to spend some time thinking, and then talk it over with Handsome, and we'll see where it goes.