It's just not an active blog, is it?

Hi all, if any are left reading these little posts.
I'm sad to say I've been gone for these past six months cuz I had to go get a non-pastry job to pay the bills.
I'm keeping the marketing non-anon blog going, but this one will be back burnered indefinitely.
Thanks for reading, listening and commenting and take great care.

Tz

The Last Goodbye...

Tonight I said goodnight to a guest for the last night.
It's happened before -- they've come in one last time before moving away, or on the last night of the last business trip to our area. But tonight was probably the last night this guest will eat in any restaurant.
After being open more than a couple years, you get to know guests patterns and this one has been unique in the way it's changed.
From monthly visits with the same companion, it changed into coming in only for special events, then even those got cancelled for this visit to the doctor or that last minute "issue".
And tonight is was clear why -- though not talked about at the table, she is ill. Ill enough that it was clear that in a few weeks, I'll be getting a phone call about meal delivery... or perhaps no more meals at all.
I am overwhelmed with the grief in some ways. I am clear that there is no good way to leave your life, and there is grief to those leaving as much as for those left behind. And I am thrilled this guest has had a long and loved life. And I will miss her so deeply. She is a member of our family. She watched us grow into the restaurant we are. She watched us become a couple and both she and her dining companion have watched me move from partner in life to include business as well.
And they've gone from being guests, to friends, to family.
So, we kept it light. Didn't really make mention of how little she ate. Packed up her chocolate dessert so that she could enjoy it at home later. And make small jokes all night long about nothing in particular.
Saying goodnight at the door, we made sure it was the full blown version of holding the door and hugs all around as we've done each visit. And then I went at had a good cry.
Here's to you, H. Hugs and love and thank you for being a part of our world.

It's coming out time!

Today was my first day back to the market... as a customer.
It took me a full two months (coward!) to make it back to the scene of the crime.
And was it fun. Great people, wonderful attitudes and I love being back. I get to snicker rather than take it all too seriously and plan on whatever is next.
And the apples were really, really good.

I'm so glad we've had this time together...

but the farmer's market era is now gone for the short term future.
It was a brillant idea and didn't pan out.
It's been brewing for a while (hence my absence) and now I'm making it official.

Here I'll say the whole piece:
I don't like being at a market that has high volume commercial baked goods next to my own. The idea for me is local, sustainable, organic. Not margarine from a production facility where everyone wears plastic.
I don't like cold wet mornings and fighting to sell each little piece of bread.
I don't like old hotel ovens that have chronically ill thermostats.
I don't like concrete floors that are so old the whole building is sinking slowly only on the wall BEHIND THE OVEN.
I love baking.
I love this little place.
I love my customers.
I love what I learned from this and the confidence I've gained.
I love my guy. I'm back in the restaurant full time to run the dining room and make his desserts so that we can make it all work.
Thanks for all the great feedback as I worked through this!

Prepping for Robert Burns Night

It's been a long week. The menu change and market are already a blur as I'm more focused on our next one night menu.
Each year we celebrate Robert Burns Birthday with a one night menu of scottish food, a piper and dancers.

For this year, I'm creating a version of a traditional border tart:
dried fruit, nuts, cinnamon, brown sugar and butter in a short crust. I've added a bit of caledonian cream (marmalade sweetened whipped cream) to serve with it warm and toasty from the oven.
Next we're doing a chocolate and caramel covered shortbread,
Blackberry sorbet,
and a whiskey cream chocolate fondue.

Menu change tomorrow

but the desserts are going to stay the same.
Just too good and too much fun. And I'm getting over a cold.

But I want to do a chocolate that's a peanut butter cup sort of thing...
Maybe.
BTW, still spilling things.
Today lost 4 eggs, 8 oz of sour cream and 12 chocolate cakes.
Grr. Argh.

Wow. A different day

Some personal stuff shadowed the morning.
I'm kinda too scared about outcomes to talk about it.
Didn't sell it all. There was a new baker at the market that did.
Sigh. Shortening and Margarine.
But now. I'm kinda sick. Gonna go lie down.

Today:
Cinnamon Streusel Bread
Marmalade Bread
Flourless Chocolate Almond Cake (Gluten Free)
Coconut Lime Custard
Whiskey Caramel Apple Bread Pudding
Double Chocolate Hazelnut Cookies
Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookies
Currant Scones
Molasses Bars

One of those days

where everything goes a bit wrong.
A couple of days ago I stumbled and fell. in the rain. on the sidewalk. in Oakland.
Skinned my knee and felt okay until the next day. Then the wrist started to swell and ache. and the arthritis in the other hand.
Ouch.
So today, I've spilled cocoa, sugar, scraped my knuckle, tripped, spilled au jus on my keyboard to the point my left mouse button ain't workin' right.
Grr. Argh.
Today is Thursday. So here's the new stuff:

Coconut Kaffir Lime fondue
Caramel Apple Bread Pudding
Fried Bananas in Palm Sugar Syrup

Recipes on request until I get all that done.

cheers!
T

It was SUNNY!

My goodness but I needed the sun today.
First day at the new marketplace and I prepped for lots of rain.
Got lots of sun and SOLD OUT. Woot. Can't tell you how good that feels. Being out there talking to people is one thing that makes me happy. Doing it in the sun when it isn't too hot or to cold is another happy. With my handsome? Three. When they ALL buy something!!! Definite four. Yum.

Here's the menu:

Flourless Chocolate Almond Torte (gluten free)
Spiced Pear Almond Upside Down Cake
Lemon Mascarpone Mousse
Orange Clove Bread
Butter Pecan Bread
Creme Fraiche Currant Scones
Breakfast Bars
Butterscotch Brownies
Roasted Peanut Fudge Cookies

Whaddya think?

I'm a ranting raving lunatic

I think I pissed off scared everyone in the kitchen on the Eve.
Man, but I do rant. Angry too.

Inside I feel like:

Outside apparently I'm:

Just about presentation on a dessert. Not critical. Not something anyone is going to remember tomorrow. But now they will. Remember my anger. My (over)reaction. And my bad attitude. Grr. Argh. There's something about single day menus that drives us all up the wall.

Must control anger since only person willing to slap me upside the head is the nsyo and she doesn't work here every night. SHE has a life. Sigh. lol. My life is here. Right now, I'm just taking it all a bit too seriously.

New Idol: food whore.

Time for a martini or three.

Terribly sorry I'm not here more

I promise with the New Year this blog will get more attention.
For now... Desserts:

Apple Bread Pudding with bourbon sauce
Pumpkin Trifle with candied chestnuts & maple custard
sour cherry strudel with almonds & whipped cream

Thank you for being my audience

It means a lot to me to have you listen to what I have to say.

Thank you.

I don't really know where to start

the last four weeks have been a huge huge blur.
The first market was pretty cool. Very local small town feel. Lots of regulars from the little place came by in support. Majorly cool.

The second was totally different. Lots of people a bit more upscale suburban feel.
However, both were quite cold. Lovely October.

The reception of my product line is better than tepid -- not redhot. Somewhere in between. A couple of products have hit a hot button. Others I'm going to have to tweak. I get the feeling that organic pastry is an education...

Some people think it's going to take like whole wheat flaxseed seven grain no sugar added bread. It's not whole grain (usually). It's not "good for you". It's just better for you that fully refined bleached sugar and finely processed cake flour.

I think I can do this. I just have to relax and breathe...

The relationship stuff that goes along with it is a different story. With all the stress it feels like I just can't say or do anything that isn't in the wrong tone or with the wrong words. Especially to handsome.
It's a royal B (or does that mean I am) that we treat those we love the most the worst at times.

I can only hope it continues to get better.

Recipes used:
Brown Sugar Zucchini Bread
Thumbprint cookies: coconut with ginger jam, pecans with blueberry jam, walnuts with fig jam.
Roasted Peanut Fudge Cookies
Brown Sugar Walnut Cookies
Double Chocolate Hazelnut with Cranberries
Cranberry Orange Bread
Maple Drop Cookies
Persimmon Cookies
Pumpkin Cookies
Applesauce Bread
Persimmon Pecan Bread
Citron Bread
Cinnamon Tangerine Bread
Almond Plum Oat Bread
Molasses Bars
Currant Scones

Just a tad too true

Please read these. If you read here, and don't read there, now is the time to start:

Owning Up 1
Owning Up 2

ohmigod

they called.
Words were something akin to
"thank you so much for bringing such delicious samples.
We really appreciate you going to all that work.
Of course, we have room for you at the market and look forward to seeing you in two weeks."
Of course! It was a shoe-in!!! I knew that!!!
Not.
Um. Okay. So I overstressed. And we start in 17 days. Not 10. :)

Wow. How'd that happen...

We went, we saw, we...

survived.
The meeting was interesting. We got there on time after every single calamity you can think of. I'm not kidding. The oven temp wouldn't regulate, a full sheet of fresh cookies fell off the prep table, one tray got put down too hard on top of another, the thrid recipe of tea cookies worked fine for me but not my asst. so we had pan of cooked dough. It was a mess. I don't even have the energy to contemplate how much it cost in dollars, let alone that energy.
But we did it.
And in the middle, handsome sez we can be ready for showtime in two weeks.
{in my head... Two weeks! Okay. Two weeks. it's 12 days to the next market. Do I get that or the 19 to the one after that. How do I take back what he just said. Is he CRAZY!!! I'm the baker and 12 days is not enough. 19 barely. okay, I'll agree to two weeks and mean two and a half. Two and a half!?!?! shta!!!!!}
But at the end, they said they'd let us know in a couple days. And look. We did it.
We got through it. Maybe they'll still like us in 6 months. Phew.
And now...

Eek! Two days!

I just got TWO DAYS NOTICE to have my stuff ready for the board.
One of those things that you know is supposed to happen, but you don't know why...
Here I am and the market chef comes in for dinner with a friend. Sits there and has a great time and after a bottle of wine says - Oh! Board meeting in two days! Can you be ready to bring samples for all?
Wow. Of course! (Shta.)
So the list:

Cinnamon Rolls with Vanilla Frosting
Petite whole Wheat Fig Nut Bread
Petite Maple Pumpkin Bread
Double Chocolate Orange Macadamia Nut Cookies
Shortbread: green tea, lemon ginger, coconut

Think it'll work?

Oh Shta

Double Shta.
Shta on a stick.
Turns out that the leave of absence of former baker is now permanent.
Wow.
Breakfast pastries full time.
Ugh.
Hmmm....
Um. Still waiting.
Can You hear it??

I don't think I can afford that many more glasses of wine.

Phew!

It's done.
I procrastinated. Ignored the blog. Ignored the paper.
And then I got a call that said "Where is it?"
So off it went in the mail. Today.
Sigh.
Now I wait


I'm not a good wait-er-er....

Sigh.
Time for some wine.

Too much to do

So I haven't gotten the paperwork done yet.
It feels a bit overwhelming. Kinda like looking at this...

So instead:
Peach tiramisu:
Layers of ladyfingers soaked in peach lambic
Topped with a mascarpone mousse with a hint of peach liqueur
In between layers of macerated local white and yellow peaches
topped with a lightly sweetened whipped cream and fresh peaches

Sound like something you might try?